I’m a football fan
That’s what I am
A slave to the round ball
Been obsessed since I was at school
I’m in it for the long haul
I’m a football fan

It’s the game to excite
A flame that I ignite
It’s got body
It’s got bite
From August through to May
Every Saturday
I’m kicking every ball
Studying each replay
When June and July’s got the sun
My days are grey
They take my football away
I’m a football fan

The beautiful game
Keep it simple
Keep it plain
It stimulates my brain
It eases my pain
When I see the ball go in the net
I’m as happy as I get
It’s my drug
It’s my bug
I’ll never be a football thug
That game’s for mugs
That’s not my game
What’s my name?
Mr football fan

From 3 to 5
I’m on the edge of a knife
This is a marriage for life
I don’t need a wife
I don’t need a spouse
I ain’t even got room for God in my house
I’m already living with a giant
Not a mouse
With a capital F
I love it to death
Always welcome as a guest
It’s got me possessed
Gonna say it with my last breath
I’m a football fan