I live to watch telly
Got a huge beer belly
I’m sweaty and smelly
My brain’s turned to jelly
I’m all mouth and trousers and gob
What am I?
I’m a slob

I ain’t got not grace
Can’t keep up with life’s pace
I’m in yer face
Invade your personal space
I’m allergic to every job
What am I?
I’m a slob

I’m overweight
I wanna vegetate
I’ll eat off your plate
Healthy food I hate
Gimme burgers not corn on the cob
What am I?
I’m a slob

I try and look hard
I’m a tub of lard
I’ve never read the Bard
Don’t need a Travelcard
‘Cause I’ll just sit on my bum all day
Till a forklift truck carts me away
I am a human blob
What am I?
I’m a slob