There's a dead baked bean in my microwave
Playing at hide an seek
He has bits of blue on him
Don't suck or chew on him
He's been lying there for three weeks

There's a dead baked been in my microwave
Squashed and flat out on his back
I'm desperately itching
To lose him from my kitchen
He's far too unfit for a snack

There's a dead baked bean in my microwave
Lurking alone by himself
Haunts me like a ghost
Don't eat him on toast
He's likely to damage your health

There's a dead baked bean in my microwave
Wedged in the crack by the door
He's not a nice fella
He's got salmonella
I've cooked him at least twice before

There's a dead baked bean in my microwave
Congealed in tomato sauce
Fried, frazzled and old he
Is manky and mouldy
My stomach is turning and churning because...

There's a dead baked bean in my microwave
As dead as a dead bean can be
I'm scared to go near him
I secretly fear him
So I'll stick with cheese salad for tea