I Won't Eat Snails

I don't want snails for dinner
Or lurking in my lunch
Their yucky bodies squish and squelch
Their shells crack with a crunch
In France they may adore them
But I'm in England now
So remove them from the table
I won't eat SNAILS!

I don't want snails for breakfast
No antennae with my tea
Return them to the garden
Drop them by the nearest tree
You can drag me to the station
Tie me helpless to the rails
But keep molluscs off the menu
I won't eat SNAILS!

I don't want snails in sandwiches 
They're too terrible on toast
In marinades on barbecues
Or served with Sunday roast
I'll strip down to my underpants 
In rain, snow, sleet and hail
But one delicacy's not for me
I won't eat SNAILS!

I don't want snails for supper
For pudding or for sweet
I don't regard a gastropod
In garlic as a treat
I can't consume a creature
Oozing slippery, slimy trails
Though for a dare I'd bite a bear
I won't eat SNAILS!

Pay me sack loads of money
Or immerse them in honey
STILL I won't eat SNAILS!