Auntie Whatshername
She's squeezing my cheek
She's pinching my nose
She ruffles my hair
Picks fluff off my clothes
She's scary and wearing
And quite overbearing
Resembles a pantomime dame
My dear AUNTIE WHATSHERNAME
She gives me a peck
She's patting my head
Suggesting “By nine
You should be in bed!”
She tries to bearhug me
She bothers and bugs me
A witch and her both look the same
My dear AUNTIE WHATSHERNAME
She eats loads of cakes
She drinks lots of tea
I run to my room
If she asks for me
She's humpy and grumpy
So warty and lumpy
And always finds time to complain
My dear AUNTIE WHATSHERNAME
She gossips and groans
She squeaks and she squawks
Without drawing breath
She constantly talks
Embarrassing, cloying
Extremely annoying
Next week she will visit again
My dear AUNTIE WHATSHERNAME
Then I'll hide away
When I hear our bell
'Cause my dear UNCLE WHATSHISNAME...
Is coming as well!