Auntie Whatshername

She's squeezing my cheek

She's pinching my nose

She ruffles my hair

Picks fluff off my clothes

She's scary and wearing

And quite overbearing

Resembles a pantomime dame

My dear AUNTIE WHATSHERNAME

She gives me a peck

She's patting my head

Suggesting “By nine

You should be in bed!”

She tries to bearhug me

She bothers and bugs me

A witch and her both look the same

My dear AUNTIE WHATSHERNAME

She eats loads of cakes

She drinks lots of tea

I run to my room

If she asks for me

She's humpy and grumpy

So warty and lumpy

And always finds time to complain

My dear AUNTIE WHATSHERNAME

She gossips and groans

She squeaks and she squawks

Without drawing breath

She constantly talks

Embarrassing, cloying

Extremely annoying

Next week she will visit again

My dear AUNTIE WHATSHERNAME

Then I'll hide away

When I hear our bell

'Cause my dear UNCLE WHATSHISNAME...

Is coming as well!