I Live in a Bin

I live in a bin
I live in a bin
Feel free to lift the lid, drop rubbish in

I don't care if it reeks
I don't care if it whiffs
I don't care if it pongs
I don't care if it niffs

People say I make them queasy 
'Cause my body odour's cheesy
My skin is rank, my hair is greasy

I live in a bin
A garbage bin
With sacks of stinky socks, potato skins
Broken glass, metal, plastic
Junk is cool
Junk's fantastic
Pour mustard pickle on my head
Along with bits of mouldy bread
Why should I buy a house instead?

I live in a bin
It's where I reside
Though air is clearer on the other side
I savour the sweet stench of pollution
Got a waste problem?
I'm the solution
Does my existence cause you confusion? 

I live in a bin
By your garden gate
Flies and maggots treat me as their mate
I cohabit with a couple of rats
We wine and dine, we chat and chat
While chewing rind and bones and fat
From the meal you had last night 
Washed down with sour Angel Delight
And a half-empty bottle of gin

I live in a bin
Too cold in snow
Too hot in sun
Nevertheless it's fun, fun, fun
Collecting trash by the tonne
I lollop in oil and swim in scum
Why do you think I'm always smelling?
It's 'cause of this bin I have for a dwelling
If you sniffed me it's a sure way of telling

I live in a bin!