Pete was eaten by a pillar box
It grabbed him and gobbled him, spat out his socks
He ignored all the warnings or maybe forgot
The dangers of slipping his hand in that slot

Pete's parcel got munched up and crunched up for starters
While he was provided for dinner and afters
Resembling scenes from some horror movie
Poor Pete was converted from human to smoothie

His screams could be heard by shocked passers-by
As Pete became filling for envelope pie
The postman who opened the box was surprised
To find tonnes of slush and mush slopping inside

And how many more people vanish this way?
Who go to post letters then aren't seen again
So stop and consider (with Pete presumed dead)

When you next send a message - try email instead