Don't say I'm peculiar
Don't say I'm odd
But I like to have a bath
With my dog

Why go walkies or down the pub
When we can be relaxing in a warm tub?
Just me and Fido
In our own private lido
Not worrying about what the gossipers say
And ignoring the letters from the RSPCA

He shampoos my hair
I soap his paws
He washes my back
I clean his claws

Folks warn me “Neal! You'll get in trouble
“Playing with your pet pooch between the bubbles”
I say “Don't be daft”
While soaking in the bath
With my dog

It's great to go for a dip
And build our `man's best friend' relationship
He gives a gentle bark
Then I let a out a sigh
There's no room for doggy paddle
Though it's often fun to try
With a dash more dexterity he could even wipe me dry

He rubs my feet
I sponge his tail
He scrubs my ears
I clip his nails

Human and canine
Are content and fine
With candle light and white wine
Submerged and entwined
It's what Sunday nights were made for
It's that special time we crave for
I kick the cat out
Lock the front door
When I have a bath
You'll hear him woof
And hear me laugh
When I have a bath
With my dog