If you stole my smelly socks
Shut them in a metal box
Hid it under heavy rocks
And twenty-seven concrete blocks
Sealed it with cast iron locks
You could still smell
MY SMELLY SOCKS

Imagine the smelliest thing you can
Then times it by ten
Imagine the new smell that you’d get
Then times it by ten again
And what’s the smell that you’ve now got?
That smell worse than hell of
MY SMELLY SOCKS

They stink
They poison
The poo
They reek
And made my washing machine explode last week
Folk say they’re one of nature’s freaks
But I say that they’re not
They’re just
MY SMELLY SOCKS

You might pass out
You might go stiff
If you’re brave enough to have a sniff
I’m daring you to take a whiff
Of the niffiest things you can possibly niff
MY SMELLY SOCKS

They’re in the Guinness Book of Records
Under `strongest stench ever’
I keep them in two separate rooms
They’re too powerful when they’re together
Their smell is even stronger in the sweaty summer heat
What’s scarier than the scariest monster you could ever meet?
That pair of pongers that cover my feet
And my toes
Make sure your nose
Don’t get too close to
MY SMELLY SOCKS

My family live in fear of me
My friends will not come near to me
When I wear shoes they’re cheering me
How can two items made of cotton
Be so deadly, pungent, awful and rotten?
Once inhaled then never forgotten
MY SMELLY SOCKS

When I last washed them in 1974
They were sweet, soft, white and clean
Now I don’t wash them anymore
They’re crusty, purple and green
So disgusting, disgraceful, distasteful and obscene
Any film about them would be rated 18
If you find one in your bed tonight you’ll let out a piercing
Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam at
MY SMELLY SOCKS