I thought she just liked wearing black
I thought she just wore a cape
‘Cause she had no plastic mack
Or anorak
But I was wrong
And here’s the chilling fact
She’s a witch
My girlfriend is a witch

She keeps an evil green-eyed cat
She made me tea with a murdered bat
On her head is a huge pointed hat
I wanted a woman
Beautiful and rich but
She’s a witch
My girlfriend is a witch

She cooks in a cauldron
Not an oven
She’s asked me to join her mysterious coven
She weaves magic spells with her wand
The neighbours she had are now frogs in her pond
I wish she was like other girls
But she’s not
Her hair is as green as the slimiest snot
On Halloween she gets her kicks
She wants to star in Hollywood horror flicks
She’s a witch
My girlfriend is a witch

She lives in a castle
Summons thunder and lightening
I want my mates to meet her
But she’s far too frightening
Too much dark eye make up
She’d cast me down a pit if I said we should break up
I know I wanted to get hitched
But not with this lady
Who cooks in blood instead of gravy
She’s a witch
My girlfriend is a witch

She’s so scary
I’d prefer a princess
Or a beautiful fairy
Instead of someone old, warty and hairy
Please get me out of this fix
The two of us have never quite clicked
Perhaps I’ll disappear using one of her tricks
Or make my escape on her flying broomstick
She’s a witch
My girlfriend is a witch