I'm the tarantula down your toilet
Your prowler in the pan
I want to bite and frighten you
Whatever way I can
I'll nibble on your bottom
I'll stalk you on the seat
'Cause yes you've guessed
That human flesh
Is what I love to eat

I'm the tarantula down your toilet
I've chosen here as home
Don't linger on the loo too long
While playing with your phone
For when I'm feeling hungry
My fangs will make their mark
You'd better switch the light on
If you enter after dark

I'm the tarantula down your toilet
You'll hear me splash about
Prod me, poke me, push me
But I'm never moving out
I could live in your cupboard
Your kitchen, loft or shed
Yet in this bowl is where I roll
And where I've made my bed

I'm the tarantula down your toilet
Who's causing you dismay
Don't get ideas to calm your fears
By flushing me away
My kingdom is your bathroom
Where I can wander free
So pick a new location
When you have the need to pee