Somebody Else’s Underpants

They itch, they scratch, they don’t feel right

It’s hard to breathe, they’re far too tight

I bought bright blue yet these are white

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

They’re not my choice, they’re not my style

I need to stand up for a while

Discomfort! Pain! It’s hard to smile

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

They squeeze my front, they squash my rear

Where are they from? I’ve no idea

You wonder why I shed a tear?

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

I might wear someone else’s shirt

Their jumper, coat, hat, scarf or skirt

But not these briefs that pinch and hurt

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

Unhappy they're below my waist

The owner clearly had no taste

What bigger crisis could I face?

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

For sure this clothing isn't mine

So if it’s yours drop me a line

Emergency! Call 999!

I’ve somebody else’s underpants