When the lesson began Sir advised us

“Sit next to somebody sensible”

I looked around...

Ella had tied her pigtails tightly under her chin and couldn't undo the knots

Harrison’s socks were on the floor while he was showing us how he could bite his own toenails

Reuben insisted he was going to quack like a duck for the rest of the day rather than talk

Li Jing had covered her entire face with an orange felt tip pen and glitter glue

Azeeb was impersonating a hamster by stuffing both of his cheeks with large pickled onions

Rohaan was licking his desk – again!

Caitlin had tipped the litter bin out onto her head and was whistling loudly

Ollie warned me that Malcolm, his invisible pet anaconda, was already occupying the chair beside him

Fin was wearing a wellington boot on one foot and a flip flop on the other

Jenson's seat was empty as he'd been hiding in the cupboard in the corridor since yesterday

Natalia had blown up a piece of bubblegum until it was larger than her head

Bhavna really did believe she was the Queen of England and was only responding to those addressing her as 'Your Majesty'

Nic and Narine were busy holding hands and blowing kisses to eachother

Malik was frantically trying to stop them by pulling stupid faces

Millie – who only ever spoke English - was trying to recite the Russian alphabet backwards

And Connor, for no obvious reason, was dressed as a Roman Centurion

So, wisely I thought, I sat by myself

Until Miss yelled

“Neal, please - be sensible!”