I used to have road rage but now I walk
I used to eat with fingers but now I use a fork
I used to swear profusely but now I'm real posh
I used to have plaque but now I floss
I used to smoke but now I vape
I used to be impatient but now I wait
I used to do drugs but now I'm clean
I used to waste energy but now I'm green
I used to use violence but now I'm a pacifist
I used to forget but now I make a shopping list
I used to freeze but now I wear a vest
I used to burp at mealtimes but now I digest
I used to have insomnia but now I sleep
I used to count the hours but now I count sheep
I used to pick my nose but now I blow
I used to be a shrinking violet but now I grow
I used to be obese but now I've lost weight
I used to scoff at art but now I visit the Tate
I used to gamble but now I bet I'll stop
I used to wet the bed but now I use a pot
I used to be idle but now I work
I used to hate dancing but now I twerk
I used to spray graffiti but now I write poetry
2-0-1-7 – this is the new me