I want to marry my teacher
Though it's against the rules
Each day she'd grant me four hours play
And make me Head Boy of the school

She'd show me every answer
To all exams I'd sit
Excuse me from my classwork
While for lunch she'd serve me extra chips

Some might say this arrangement
Would be not fair or right
But if Miss was my missus
Then I could do anything I liked

She'd let me go home early
Skip lessons that I hate
Ten tens, no naughts in my reports
At half-past nine I'd crawl in late

My punishments, detentions
I would choose to ignore
And help myself to house-points
Until nobody could beat my score

I want to marry my teacher
To have an easy life
So on my knees I'm begging
“Please Miss, promise that you'll be my wife!"