(I actually like football but this poem is for all the children who dislike the game but are brave enough to stand up for themselves and say it)

I hate football!
Both watching it and playing it
I hate football!
Get beaten up for saying it

Don't dream of it at night
Avoid it on TV
I don't support a team
Not been to Wem-ber-ley

I'm the odd one out at school
Can't explain the offside rule

I hate football!
Don't want to win the Champions League
I hate football!
More swimming, tennis, rugby please

I don't wear football boots
I don't possess a kit
No need to pass to me
I would not want a kick

People tell me that I'm strange
Peculiar, a bit deranged

I hate football!
Don't buy me tickets for the game
I hate football!
I much prefer to stretch my brain

I've never won a match
I've never had a shot
So never scored a goal
A soccer star I'm not

Football everywhere I look
I'd rather sit and read this book
'Cause I hate football!