I never squirm at the crack of thunder
A ghostly howl won't rent me asunder
I keep quite chilled when balloons are bursting
A car horn honks - you'll not find me cursing
But if there's one sound I totally hate
Don't SSSSSSSSSSCRAPE your knife on your plate!

My nerves hold firm when a lion's roaring
And with the din of my Grandad snoring
I'm not put out by cat's caterwauling
Or by shrill screams of a baby bawling
But if you're wanting to be my best mate
Don't SSSSSSSSSSCRAPE your knife on your plate!

I'll not complain at a builder's drilling
A gurgle's fine when a bath's unfilling
If fireworks boom I won't get excited
Alarm clocks ring yet my ears aren't blighted
But if you'd rather not see me irate
Don't SSSSSSSSSSCRAPE your knife on your plate!

I love the toot of a blaring trumpet
That big bass drum – it's okay to thump it
I'm cool and calm even with doors banging
I'll not yell 'Help!' if Big Ben is clanging
But I revert to a jelly-like state
When you SSSSSSSSSSCRAPE your knife on your plate!

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCRAPE!