Choose your t-shirt with care
Do you want the world to be wowed and stare
At your uniqueness
And stand out freakiness?
Or do you prefer to blend in
Run with the pack
Shout aloud
“I'm in with the in-crowd”
Do you want a picture front and back?

V-neck? Round-neck?
Sleeves or no sleeves?
This isn't just an item of clothing
It's a statement of what you believe in!
Pick a political slogan of your choice
Provide it with a platform, give it a voice
“Sack the Government!”
“Love the Environment!”
“No Nukes – Disarmament!”
“Mandela is Innocent!*”
(*Nothing wrong with retro you understand)
Why not select your favourite singer or band?
Beatles, Stones, Ramones, Nirvana
Muse, Foo Fighters, Bananarama
Elvis, Queen, Johnny Cash
The Smiths, Oasis or the Clash?

Tight, long, large, baggy
Snug, short, small, saggy
Display a self-portrait
A Tweetie Pie cartoon
A national flag
Neil Armstrong on the moon
Replica football team kits
Pattern only tops are fine
Custom-make your own design
But hey, don't copy mine!

Choose your t-shirt with care
Beware: Don't become a square
Go where those fashion eagles dare
Though on hot days you might opt for bare-chested
Girls beware – you could get arrested
But please reject Gap, Coke, Apple, Hard Rock etcetera,
Free corporate advertising is anathema?
Stop!
Burn the lot!
Instead model a movie star
Monroe, Tarantino
Dean, Pitt, Di Nero
Or fly into action as an iconic superhero
TV programme, title of a book
Let it refine and define your look

Whatever you decide on
Choose your t-shirt with care
Like you'd choose a husband or wife
And it'll hug you and love you
For the rest of its life
It doesn't matter about shoes, suits, dresses or underwear
So long as you choose your t-shirt with care