I wanna marry you Mary Jane
I just can't get you out of my brain
Though you only exist in a two-dimensional plain
I’m sniffing my Spider-Man comic again
And again
And again
My interest will never cease
My passion will never wane
In my heart there’s a constant throbbing pain
For a love that’s unfulfilled
Let’s go for it Mary – let’s get chilled
Seeing me’s so much safer than seeing Peter
‘Cause when I meet ya
You’re at no risk of getting killed
By the Green Goblin or Dock Ock
Call on me now
I’ll even change my socks
For the prettiest girl
With the auburn locks
What’s tattooed on my inner thigh
That will be there till the day I die
But was worth the excruciating pain?
“I wanna marry you Mary Jane”

I’ve got you on every DVD
Spider-Man 1, 2 and 6
(‘Cause I’m numerically dyslexic)
Watching you snog Spider-Man makes me sick
I’d like to give his arse a massive kick
But what can I do?
He’s much bigger than me
And he only exists in comic books
And a movie
(Well actually he’s in three)
But you’re always with him
‘Cause it’s part of the plot an’
I’m simply excluded or always forgotten
One minute I’m happy
Then I’m feeling really rotten
If only I was gay
Then I wouldn’t be so frustrated about not being able to marry you
MJ

It’s your cute dimples
(No zits or pimples)
Your sexy voice
Your beautiful smile
Hang on…I have to stop for breath for a while
I’ve loved you since you first appeared in Spidey number 42
Leap off that page so I can have my wicked way - get naughty with you
And leave Spider-Man tied to the tracks
Of that fast approaching train
‘Cause I wanna marry you Mary Jane