Did you see this poem coming from over the hill?
Cranking into overdrive and into clanking into overkill
It’s electric
It’s hectic
And totally frenetic
It’s the fastest poem ever written
Quicker than Quicksilver
Faster than the Flash
A million times more dashing than the million mile dash
It’s a bash
It’s a smash
A two hundred mile an hour car crash
All these words crammed and jammed
Bursting out from this 63-line parcel
Dizzier than Dizzy Rascal
Fizzier than a Bucks Fizz
It’s the fastest poem in poetry showbiz
It’s a whiz
Ignited and inspired
By a muse so mad and manic
Scribbled down in such a rush
And delivered in a panic
An inferno a volcano of the ultimate hellfire
A burning baking bright bleeding steel hot wire
It’s the fastest poem ever written
So I’ll grab my breath
Or my obituary will state “here lies a poet who performed himself to death”
Acceleration’s my aim
As I’m emptying my soul
This poem’s twenty times more powerful than a Ronaldo free-kick goal
Flying off his feet
And searing your ears
A whirling white heat
A tornado twister
Guaranteed to make your eardrums boil, burst and blister
And inflict pain on those
Switched to listening mode
In their brain
I’ll fly it up the flag pole so you can salute it again
While other odes, lyrics and raps
Are still in their starting position
This lightening paced literature
Has already completed its mission
What’s the hastiest poem you’ve ever heard?
There’s no split decision
This is the fastest piece of poetry that’s ever been written
More nuclear energy than Atomic Kitten
It’s smitten with speed
If it’s left you for dead
Slow it down when you read it inside your head

It’s aurally challenging
Pretty brain damaging
But even the fastest poem ever written
Has to stop and refuel sometime
Cross that metaphorical finishing line
So I’ll take my foot off the pedal
And settle for a gold medal
And a strong glass of full-bodied red wine
Internally glowing
At the thought of ever knowing
That the fastest poem ever written in the world
Was mine