There's a teacher in a cage at my local zoo
Doing all the things schoolteachers do
Shouting at the parrots every time they squawk
Asking racing cheetahs not to run but walk

Handing out homework to the clever cockatoos
Shouting at the wallabies fighting kangaroos
Babbling to the badgers 'bout their ABC
While hanging from the branch of a tall, tall tree

He's such an incredible zoo exhibit
Of all the creatures he's the best one in it

There's a teacher in a cage at my local zoo
Doing all the things schoolteachers do
Sitting in the straw on the floor on his own
Drinking coffee and playing with his mobile phone

Telling off the hyenas for laughing too much
Yelling at the monkeys throwing monkey nuts
Explaining to the pigs why they shouldn't eat ham
Helping rats to read and pass their SATs exam

He's the first zooteacher that I've ever met
I want to take him home and keep him as our pet

There's a teacher in a cage at my local zoo
Doing all the things schoolteachers do