Brian hasn't got a body
Nor any arms or legs
'Cause Brian is a brain
Who doesn't even have a head

Wrinkly, crumply, crinkly
A kind of walnut shape
Yes Brian is a brain
And definitely my best mate

Sitting next to him's so cool
He helps me with my maths at school
Science, French and literacy
Geography and history
Won Mastermind on TV
Brighter than a university
Every night I plug him in
Recharge him off the mains
You too would do the same thing
If you're buddy was a brain

The girls all think he's sexy
The girls all think he's sweet
He flashes his synapses
When he's giving them a wink
He never needs to have a drink
Eat breakfast, dinner or lunch
Brian is a brain and he's my number one chum

He only ever wears a hat
Completes a crossword just like that
Sudoko in ten seconds flat
Clever, intellectual
Brilliant and cerebral
(Though not so good at football)
Who doesn't need a computer at all?
Brian, the brain

I know it sounds incredible
Unbelievable and insane
But nobody is quite like Brian
'Cause Brian is a brain