When I am Prime Minister
You'll have homework by the tonne
Maths lessons will quadruple
And I'll fine you for having fun

In the Tower of London dungeon
I'll imprison Her Majesty the Queen
On pound coin heads you'll find me instead
And all kids will be forced to eat greens

At my residence, 10 Downing Street
I'll rest with my feet up
While passing laws guaranteeing for sure
Just my team can win the Cup

Those nations I find annoying
My armies will invade in a flash
Then march their way round to your house
To confiscate your cash

Your screensavers and wallpapers
Will have to bear my face
Holidays and birthdays too
Will vanish without a trace

My special police will steal your sweets
Toys, TVs, books and games
I'll tax anyone who speaks or laughs
Or dares misspell my name

Each weekday you'll hear only classical music
Only opera at the weekends
These things I also promise to do
If I became PM

With my hand holding the master switch
I'll control the entire country
So tell me in next month's election please...
Will YOU be voting for me?