Our schools are shut
Our power’s been cut
We’re doing our nut
All stuck in this rut
The trains won’t go
The water won’t flow
Cars abandoned in rows and rows
The press is depressing and gloomy and grey
Severe weather warnings will not go away
All because of some crystalline H20
It’s just snow, snow, snow

We’re not Eskimo, we’re not Inuit
So us English can’t get our heads around it
We stay in our homes
Isolation zones
As inactive as stones
Call in sick on our phones
And we moan and moan and moan and moan
It’s agro
A no show
A national go-slow
And though polar bears were seen shopping at Tesco
And penguins are on your lawn dining al fresco
There’s no need for more tales of woe
It’s just snow, snow, snow

‘Cause though the wind blows
And we can’t feel our toes
And icicles dangle from everyone’s nose
And all our car engines have frozen over
And with gardens more white than the White Cliffs of Dover
Our worlds need not implode
It’s just snow, snow, snow

If we’ve got horrible colds and coughs
And all our extremities have fallen off
If football games are postponed everywhere
We need not throw our hands into the air
Contemplating our deepest despair
‘Cause though Barking to Bow Road’s one slippery snow road
We shouldn’t let ourselves get low
It’s just snow, snow, snow

Let’s not be dopes
And sit round and mope
Or roll on the ropes
Let’s learn to cope
And not get bitter
But pray for that gritter
Think `thaw’ and hope
Or build a ski slope
Don’t face defeat
Turn up the heat
Guys wear warm underwear - defrost your meat
Though an iceberg has just destroyed Walthamstow
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse won’t be here in a mo’
‘Cause it’s not Armageddon we’re facing you know
It’s just snow, snow, snow