I’ve hit upon a fantastic idea
I’m gonna have a birthday each day of the year
Every 24-hours I’d celebrate
Partying hard with all of my mates (till very late)
Everyone would think I was a really cool lad
Wishing they had everything that I had
“Many happy returns Neal” they’d constantly say
If I had a birthday every day

By now I’d be about 15,000 birthdays old
And regularly showered with presents (e.g. books and smart clothes)
I’d spend my birthday money in Toys R Us
And get driven to and from it in my own private bus
Filled up with everything that I had just bought
All paid for by cheque – a pound sign, a one and five noughts
Despite my age I’d not be crinkled, wrinkled or grey
If I had a birthday every day

I’d be given enormous teddy bears
Stocks and shares
Batman and Robin underwear
A computer any time I liked
Ten giant TVs
Two mountain bikes
Seven birthday cakes a week
A gold clock, silver watch
Life-size robots that speak
Ice cream by the bucket
Sweets by the tonne
Absolutely anything under the sun
It’ll be fun, fun, fun
I’d always have the latest games to play
If I had a birthday every day

I’d be generous and caring
I wouldn’t be greedy
Donating three gifts a month to the poor and the needy
The cash I’d not spent?
I would invest it
The chocolate I’d got?
I would digest it

I’d never have broken toys only new
I’d never be sad or bored or blue
I’d never run out of things to do
No way
No way
No way José
If I had a birthday every day