My Dad thinks he’s cool
But he’s not cool at all

He embarrasses me at the school gate
Attempting to speak street slang to all of my mates
Dad – you’re not eleven, you’ve turned forty-eight

My Dad thinks he’s cool
But he’s not cool at all

It’s ever so painful when he sings along
To all of the latest Top 30 songs
He whines out of tune getting all the words wrong

My Dad thinks he’s cool
But he’s not cool at all

He wears a Lily Allen t-shirt to try to impress
(Although he’s always telling me Elvis is best)
He’d score a big fat ZERO in the `How Cool R U?’ test

My Dad thinks he’s cool
But he’s not cool at all

He tries to play football with the rest of my team
His skills on the pitch are the worst I’ve ever seen
Out-tackled and out-dribbled by girls of thirteen

My Dad thinks he’s cool
But he’s not cool at all

So he’ll never beat me at computer gaming
Despite hours and hours of meticulous training
I'm beating all records but he’s doing my brain in

My Dad thinks he’s cool
But he’s not cool at all

And if you’re reading this Dad I hope you understand
Why I’d like all these mad things you do to be banned
I love you just as you are so please - act like a man!

My Dad think s he’s cool
But he’s not cool at all