Lurgy

When your eyes can't open
And your tongue hangs out
When your arms are flapping
There is little doubt
You've caught that germ
That's been buzzing about
You've come down with the lurgy! 

When you're taking tablets
That have no effect
When your brain feels bashed
And your body real wrecked
Green spots are spreading
'Cross your knees and neck
You've come down with the lurgy! 

When you shiver like a fridge
Then you wobble like a jelly
As your toenails ache
There's a bulging in your belly
And sweat rolls down
Till you fill both your wellies
You've come down with the lurgy! 

When your temperature rises
To a hundred and ten
When your ears are ringing
Like they're near Big Ben
When your feet smell worse
Than a pig in a pen
You've come down with the lurgy! 

When you try to talk
Though blow bubbles instead
When the doctor's despairingly
Shaking his head
Saying “So, so sorry
“But it seems you're dead!”
You've come down with the lurgy!