I'm an astronaut exploring outer space
I'm the man with the world's most handsome face
I won ten million pounds in the lottery
It was me who invented poetry

A pterodactyl lives in my back room
I've eaten a chunk of cheese from the moon
Three gold Lamborghinis are parked in my shed
I've met a pretty princess and we're soon to be wed

I own a Hollywood mansion – you're most welcome to stay
Underneath this wig my hair's ginger not grey
I dined for a year on only baked beans
I scored the greatest goal that football has seen

I've had x-ray vision since the day I was born
There's a chocolate fountain on my garden lawn
I can magic the sun to chase away the rain
I'm the person possessing earth's biggest brain

I never grow old so I never will die
I didn't steal the cherries from your cherry pie
In a split second flash I can make the poor rich
My Dad is a wizard and my Mum is a witch

I'm a sheriff of a town in the wild Wild West
I scored a hundred per cent in my spelling test
I think I tell the truth but everyone has said
That all of these things are just in my head