There's a huge crack in the bowl
Don't go there
There's no paper on the roll
Don't go there

Severed hinges on the door
Don't go there
Shattered tiles on the floor
Don't go there

There's an evil smelling whiff
Don't go there
Broken seat and busted lid
Don't go there

The wallpaper is peeling
Don't go there
Check the cockroach on the ceiling
Don't go there

There's no key to turn the lock
Don't go there
And the pipe's completely blocked
Don't go there

The light has blown a fuse
Don't go there
The air freshener's all used
Don't go there

Someone stole the toilet brush
Don't go there
Once you've done you cannot flush
Don't go there

It's the place that you most dread
So keep calm and cross your legs
Hold it till you're home instead
What's the warning that I said?
DON'T GO THERE!